The bullied kid

As a child, I had a rough time growing up. I was the kid who always got picked on and bullied by classmates. It was hard for me to make any friends and my parents were working most of the time saving lives. I remember feeling alone and isolated, and I was the only kid in my school and in my family who was born differently. I was born missing a finger on one of my hands, which made it more challenging to write, use scissors, color, draw, play sports, grip anything, and even eating was a challenge too. All of this made me feel like no one would understand what I was going through. Looking back, I realize I was too afraid to speak up and tell anyone what was happening to me. I was too afraid to be vulnerable towards anyone and the thought of being a snitch that no one wanted to hang around caused me to continue being silent for so long.

A rough childhood

My childhood was marked by a constant struggle to fit in. I was always the odd one out, never quite fitting into any social group. I would eat lunch all by myself and when it was recess time, I hid in the bathroom cause I didn't want anyone to think I was a lameo with no friends. The bullying started early on, with kids making fun of my ears, my hair, my hands, the way I talk, how I write, and kids even made fun of my name. It was relentless, and I felt like no matter what I did, I was never good enough. I tried so hard to fit in and I even tried to be something that I wasn't just so I could feel part of something.

I spent many lonely days trying to avoid the bullies, hiding in the bathroom during lunch or skipping school altogether. I was ashamed of being different, and I didn't want anyone to see me as weak or vulnerable. The bullying took a toll on my mental health, and I struggled with anxiety, depression, and eventually I became suicidal throughout my childhood.

The silence

One of the worst things about being bullied is the silence that surrounds it. I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone about what was happening to me, not even my parents or my teachers. I was afraid of being judged or dismissed, and I didn't want to burden anyone with my problems.

The silence only made things worse. I felt like I was carrying a heavy weight on my shoulders, and I didn't know how to let it go. I became withdrawn and isolated, avoiding social situations and keeping to myself. The shame and embarrassment of being bullied made me feel like I was the problem, like I deserved what was happening to me. Sometimes I thought that no one would even know I was missing if I just left this earth.

The secrets

The bullying continued into my teenage years, but I had become an expert at hiding it. I put on a brave face in public, pretending like everything was okay, but inside, I was falling apart. I had developed a coping mechanism of pushing down my emotions and pretending like the bullying wasn't affecting me.

But the secrets we keep have a way of eating away at us. I started to experience anxiety attacks and bouts of depression, and I knew that I couldn't keep pretending like everything was okay. It was a scary realization, but I knew that I needed to speak up and share my story.

Don't be afraid to tell your story

Telling my story was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it was also one of the most liberating. I found a therapist who specialized in trauma and began to work through my experiences. I also started to open up to my friends and family, sharing my struggles and asking for support.

It wasn't easy, and there were times when I felt like giving up, but I knew that I had to keep pushing forward. Sharing my story allowed me to connect with others who had gone through similar experiences, and it helped me to realize that I wasn't alone.

If you're struggling with bullying or any other form of trauma, I encourage you to speak up and share your story. It's not easy, and it may be scary, but it's the first step towards healing. You don't have to suffer in silence, and you don't have to carry the weight of your trauma alone.

Conclusion

Growing up as the bullied kid was not easy, but it taught me the importance of speaking up and sharing my story. The silence and secrets only made my struggles worse, and it wasn't until I found the courage to speak up that I was able to start healing.

If you're going through something similar, I want you to know that you're not alone. There are people out there who care about you and want to help you through this difficult time. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask for support. You deserve to live a life free from the weight of trauma, and speaking up is the first step towards achieving that.